sure, it's no joke... but is it hot?
School-wide email received today...

Date: Mon, 29 Mar 2004 15:21:43 -0600
From: SBA President
To: Class2004, Class2005, Class2006
Subject: This is not a joke...

As much as I would like this to be a joke, a new law school low has been
achieved...

The night crew that cleans the building has run across a problem. No,
it is not that we are leaving food wrappers or failing to push our seats
in after class. Rather, it seems that STUDENTS ARE HAVING SEX IN THE
BUILDING. Members of the crew have discovered students in the library
study rooms on multiple occasions in the last few months.

So, here are few helpful pieces of information:

1. Doing it in the law school violates the University Judicial Code.
Keep it in mind the next time you can't keep your pants on. Just
imagine the beauty of having to explain to the Bar Examiners that you
were charged with getting it on in a study room. Classy, classy work.

2. This puts the night staff in a weird position. I imagine that the
job is not the easiest in the world and it is not made better by walking
in on students with their bare asses in the air.

3. This is really advice rather than information: STOP IT. To whoever
is doing this, what the hell is wrong with you? I am betting that you
do not live more than ten minutes away from the school. If not, there
are several hotels within ten minutes. I mean, Christ, at least go out
to your car so we do not have to worry about getting your fluids on our
belongings. Seriously though, how does this come about? Do you walk up
to the reserve desk, notice an attractive student, and say "Hey, Sweet
Thing, I see you are reading the Southwestern reporter. Want to go back
to my glass-walled study room and discuss some obscenity law?" I
realize that I have no game, but I would have never thought that line
would work.

To sum up, sorry for the rant. However, this is an issue that needed to
be addressed and I drew the lucky straw. Please stop banging in the
library.
It will make life easier, even if somewhat less humorous, for all of us.

Thanks for the time,
sorry if I offended anyone,
have a good day,
go home to do it,

SBA President

P.S. Oral sex does count as sex in this situation.